The thought of testifying nothing but truth

A: name dia al-ghiffari sbb dia tgal kat ghifar
I: oo..
A: kabilah ghiffar tu tinggal kat tengah2 antare mekah n syam
A: kalau tak silap akak lah
I: ok
A: so, ramailah kafilah dagang yg singgah kat kampung diorang otw to syam
A: agak2 ape keje depa neh?
A: kat kampung tu?
I: bwkkan brg?
A: taklah
A: diorg ni…
A: perompak!
I: wah
I: WAh
A: mrk idup hasil rompakan ke atas rombongan yg lalu yg gagal bagi pemberian yg puaskan ati diorg
A: ala-ala lanun lah ni
A: kat padang pasir
I: huu…
A: name sbnr abu dzar adalah Jundub bin Junadah
A: dia berani, bpdgn jaoh, tan tak suka dgn kgiatan sembah berhala
A: dia selalu ternanti2 kemunculan nabi baru
I: tp die mencuri la kan
A: a’ah lah kot
I: pastuh
A: smpailah satu ari dia dengar ada nabi kat mekah
A: so dia suh saudaranya gi check
A: betul ke ada nabi
A: dan dia suh sedara nye gi dengar apa yg disebutkan Muhd
A: dan suh sedaranya sampaikan
I: oO..
A: kepadanya apa yg didengari
A: pulangnya dari jumpa rasulullah, sedaranya ckp:
A: ” demi Allah, saya tlh mlihat sorg lelaki yg seru kpd akhlak mulia. beliau mengeluarkan kata2 yg indah tp bkn syair
A: orang lain tuduh Muhd sbg
A: tukang sihir,
A: tukang tilik, tukang kunci,
A: oopss silap
A: bukan tulang kunci
I: tp kak ai mmg tulis tukang kunci pun..
A: penyair
I: bkn tulang kunci..
A: silap
I: ok2 =D
I:
A: so, abu dzar ni last2 gi mekah
A: utk jumpa rasulullah
A: sori insyi
A: tgh masak air td
I: xpe2..heheh
A: dah sampai kat mekah,
A: dia dgr la citer2 penentangan kaum musyrikin
A: kat mekah
A: so, dia risau nak tanya2 org sbab tkut tersalah tanya.
I: nk tny ape?
A: tanya pasal muhd
I: oo…
A: dia kan cari rasullullah
I: yeap2
A: so, dia slalu baring di masjid
I: waaa..
A: hehe
A: sampaila org tau dia ni musafir
A: org dagang, bukan org mekah
I: sape, abu dzarr ke org dagang?
I: diorg tau die tu org dagang ke?
A: abu dzar org dagang
I: ooo..
A: org asing gitu
A: last2 ali dapat detect yg dia tu dtg dr jauh
A: saidina ali yg bijak tu…
I: yeap2. heheh
A: so dia bwk terus jumpa Rasulullah
A: eh, belum
A: dia dok baring kat masjid tunggu rasulullah je
I: die bgtau ali ke..?
A: tak
A: abu zarr tunggu kat masjid dah 2-3 hari.
A: ali pun last2 tanya kat abu dzarr
I: die tgu kat masjid mane?
A: kat mekah kot?
I: oo ok2
A: ali pelik, nape la abu dzarr tak balik2
A: last2 dia tny abu dzarr
A: apa yg mendorong dia ke US
I: us?
A: uiks
I: kak ai!!!
A: ke mekah
A: hehe
I: heheh
A: merapu lak
I: =.=
A: abu dzar pun terus terang nak bertemu dgn nabi baru
A: ali pun terangkan dgn bersungguh2
A: tentang rasulullah
I: oo..waktu tu ali dah bsr la..
A: tak gak
A: budak2 lagi
I: waaa dah bole trgkan..
A: emm…dia sgt bijak
A: dia pun bukan terus bwk abu dzar ke rasulullah
A: dia analys dlu abu dzar tu
I: =.=
I: cmne222
A: yelah, taktaulah cane, tapi dia jaga kerahsiaan kita
I: oo..ok2
I: he
A: demi keselamatan
A: so, abu dzar sgt excited nak g jmpa rasulullah
I: bertuah
A: bila dia masuk, dia bagi salam
A: kat rasulullah.
A: dikatakan beliau merupakan org pertama bagi salam tu
I: bg salam..?
I: org first??..
A: a’ah assalamualaika hai org Islam
I: O_O
A: adoi ngantok lak
A: tanpa lengah, dia mengucap.
I: haaaa die trus je mengucap
A: lepas tu dia tgal jap kat mekah.
A: dgn rasulullah
A: baginda mengajarkan dia
I: kak ai..?
A: ye
A: hehe
A: maaf
I: crite ni dah habis ke?
I: =.=
I: mcm blum smpi die tunjuk keberanian dia..
A: ye
A: rasulullah pesan kat dia,
A: jangan cerita keislaman kamu kepada sesiapa di mekah
A: sesungguhnya saya bimbang mereka akan membunuhmu
I: oO..
A: pastu saya
A: eh silap
I: pastu saya?..
A: pastu abu dzar ckp
A: demi Allah, yg diri saya di tangan Nya, saya tidak akan meninggalkan Mekah sehingga saya datang ke masjid dan melaungkan dakwah yg benar ini kpd org Quraisy
I: wah
I: ni mmg berani
A: baginda saw diam jerk
A: melihatkan rasulullah diam, abu dzar terus ke masjid
A: dia nampak org quraisy sdg duduk dan berbual-bual
A: teka ape dia wat?
I: die wat announcement
I: azan ke
I: mengucap
A: hehe
A: dia gi kat tengah2 org quraisy tuh
A: pastu cakap kuat2,
A: “wahai sekelian kaum Quraisy, sesungguhnya saya bersaksi, bahawa tiada tuhan melainkan Allah dan Muhammad adalah persuruh Allah”
A: kiranya dia mengucapkan syahadah di hadapn semua
I: =DD
A: berani kan?
I: sgt..
I: dah la tgh2
A: imagine kita di situasi begitu
A: kadang2 kita sendiri takut nak sampaikan kebenaran
I: yeap
A: sedangkan kebenaran tu mmg patut semua tau
A: walaupun tindakan dia agak gopoh n seems stupid
A: but at least he do what he believe is right
A: kesian dia
A: kena belasah sampai nak mati
A: tapi nasib baik bapa saudara Muhammad dpt melindungi dia
I: eh abu talib??
A: nama dia Al’Abbas bin Abdul Mutalib
I: oo..
A: bukan abu talib
A: dia marah yg lain
A: tapi dia marah bukan sebab apa
A: dia memikirkan abu dzar ni org ghifar
A: kalau bunuh org dari kabilah ghiffar, abesla
I: nape?
I: kne rompak e
A: bahaya. dahla selalu ulang alik melalui perkampungan ghifar
A: nanti mesti depa balas dendam kan?
A: jadi, diorang pun berhenti memukul dan biarkan abu dzar yg dah cedera teruk
A: pastu bila dia jumpa Rasullullah, baginda bsabda,
A: bukanke sy tlh larang kamu isytihar keislaman kamu?
I: pastuh…
A: tapi, abu dzar ckp; wahai rasulullah
A: ia mjadi hajat keinginan dalam diri saya. maka sy telah tunaikannya
A: so, Rasullullah pun suh dia kembali kepada kaumnya
A: cerita kat org2 kampung dia apa yg dia dah lihat dan dah dengar.
A: “ceritakan kpd mereka. ajaklah mereka kepada Allah”
A: “semoga Allah memberi manfaat kepada mereka melalui kamu.
A: dan kamu pula diberi pahala kerana usaha yg kamu lakukan utk mereka”
A: akak suka ayat tuh
I: huu…
A: kadang2 kita sibuk bawak usrah adik2 sampai kita terlupa kita ni usrah utk apa
A: nak bawak adik2 ke mana
A: isk je ke?
A: sbnrnye kita nak bawak mereka kepada Allah
A: supaya kita pun mendekati Allah
I:
A: rasulullah sambung lagi
A: “apabila kamu mendapat berita kemenangan saya, datanglah bjumpa saya”
A: so, dia pun betolak balik ke kampungnye
I: O_o
A: bila dia balik, dia jumpa dgn sedara dia yg dia suh gi check pasal rasulullah dulu tuh
I: kak ai!! sy terdc
I: bile die jumpe blik die bwat pe?
A: dia dakwah habis2an kat kampung dia
I: sume dah xmerompak yek
A: haha
A: ramai yg peluk islam! best tul
A: tapi ade gak yg masih lum peluk islam
A: diorang kata, “kami akan kekal dgn agama kami
I: berhala ke?
A: a’ah
A: diorg sembah berhala
I: mane de agama =,=
A: kami akan kekal dgn agama kami,. jika rasulullah dtg ke madinah, barulah kami akan memeluk islam
A: betul tu
A: agame apekah
I: huuu
A: tapi, bila Rasulullah dtg madinah, mrk pun peluk islam
I: hmm nape kne tunggu
A: ade org camtu kan?
A: selalunye omputeh kate ” we’ll wait n see”
A: tunggu dan lihat dulu
A: tapi org macam ni selalunye rugi besar
I: O.O..
A: tanak grab peluang jadi org ptama
A: assabiquna awwalun
I: waa…,,
A: kita kena jadi org berani.
A: org yg pertama
A: utk apa2 yg bkaitan dgn islam
A: bkaitan dgn tujuan idup kita
A: kalau tak rugilah
I:
A: ha
A: lagi satu, Rasullullah ni telah tunjukkan contoh baik.
I: contoh baik utk berani ke?
A: takle
A: bila mereka peluk islam, Rasulullah doakan mrk
I: =)
A: “ghifar, semoga ALlah mengampuni mereka. aslam, semoga ALlah mengurniakan mereka kesejahteraan.”
A: abu dzar dok kat kampung dia
A: dia teruskan dakwah kat sana
I: keberanian sahabt mmg mantap…..
A: tapi dia adelah gak gi perang2 cam perang khandak, badar, uhud,
A: dia ada gak gi madinah menemani rasulullah
A: macam best fren gak dgn rasulullah neh
I:
A: in fact, ade hadis dlm hadis 40 tu yg diceritakan oleh abu dzar
A: kalau tak silap akak, hadis ke 24
A: nanti check ok?
I: okes^^
A: bila rasulullah wafat,dia sedey
A: so, dia gi menetap kat pedalaman syam
A: pastu damsyiq
A: kat damsyi tu masa zaman khalifah uthman
A: uthman ajak dia gi madinah
A: tapi dia tak lama kat sana.
A: sbb dia tak suka lihat pekembangan di situ, di mana ramai org dah mula cenderung dgn dunia
A: bermewah2an
A: dia kan org yg keras
I: kt madinah ke??
A: a’ah
A: so, dia menentang
A: bila dia bercakap, dan berterus terang, ramailah tak suka dia
A: las2 khalifah suh dia berpindah ke sebuah desa kecik kat madinah gaks
A: kat sana dia jauh dari manusia lain
A: iA org kat sana zuhud
I: wah..
A: abu dzar berpegang kepada landasan idup yg pnah dilalui rasul dan sahabatnya iaitu:
A: mengutamakan yg kekal (akhirat) ke atas yang fana (dunia).
A: huuhu
A: akak terpikir, sejauh mana akak dah mengutamakan akhirat daripada dunia..?
A: hmm
A: bila kita belajar, kita mengutamakan akhirat tak?
A: kena betul2 pasang niat yg betul
I: yeap sy takut kalo tersasar
A: benda 2 simple camni kena clarify betul2
A: supaya tak tersasar jauh
A: tapi benda ni takla susah sgt
A: cuma kena tahu, faham, dan meyakini apa yg kita pegang dan buat.
A: iman inside

Daripada Tsauban r.a. berkata: Rasulullah saw. bersabda;

“Hampir tiba suata masa di mana bangsa-bangsa dan seluruh dunia akan datang mengerumuni kamu bagaikan orang-orang yang hendak makan mengerumuni talam hidangan mereka”. Maka salah seorang sahabat bertanya “Apakah dari kerana kami sedikit pada hari itu?” Nabi s.a.w. menjawab, “Bahkan kamu pada hari itu banyak sekali, tetapi kamu umpama buih di waktu banjir, dan Allah s.w.t. akan mencabut rasa gerun terhadap kamu dari hati musuh-musuh kamu, dan Allah s.w.t. akan mencampakkan ke dalam hati kamu penyakit ‘wahan”‘. Seorang sahabat bertanya, “Apakah wahan itu hai Rasulullah?” Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. kita menjawab, “Cinta pada dunia dan takut pada mati”.

H.R. Abu Daud

Some people already know this truth lining their bloodlines but prefer to conceal and keep it to themselves. Likewise, some others insist that the truth they’re bearing not be unzipped. And for the rest, they too know, and they ditto these words of truth for many others to fathom.

Like a sitting duck, petty and pitiful, we fear to forward this truth, and hence let another barrages of ‘those-who-have-not-known’ to skid into it, blame it, taint it with hazing of sorts, roast it, and finally at worst, kill it. Cruelties, we say, but look at our selves. We fling our “Hay they shouldn’t do this and that” and “No wai this is not in our teachings” and “Blablablahloser” to ‘those-who-have-not-known’ when the truth isn’t reaching them! We boldly foster enjoyment at this hour while our families are stifling in between deadly silencing and deathly living continuity? Wth is this.

RM2.70, DNA, 45%-50%, Mercedes E200. Benda2 ni kte fikir siyes nk mati, bkn setakat fikir je tp lebih drpd tu pon ade. tp pasal umat Islam yg bermatian-matian tu sape yg nk fikir? (karadzic? hezbollah?) Sibuk sangat ngan keduniaan, ngan bangsa masing2, tp agama tah ke mane. Dah lupe tanggungjawab. Ape kes? O_O

‘Wahan’ is already going uphill, I’m afraid. Y’know, brothers and sisters, if we failed to spread, we’re already rewinding our future into the times of jahiliyyah. And this is no kidding. Da’wah hilang, Islam pun hilang.

Will there be any more Abu Dzar al-Ghiffari? : )

In two shakes of a lamb’s tail

Since graduation, time has been ungenerous. It furthers and never looks back.

Like a tethered astronaut, I had to lift scores of missions! :) Up until now, I am still shackled by the runny time but it’s fine cause for the time being, I don’t have any more last minute reading, typing, proofreading, printing and submitting to tend to!! :D And now I’d like to press you with my battalion of missions once graduated!

Mission #1:

Just a week before the newborn fledglings migrated in, some hundred of us seniors (plus a few Russian juniors) fled to a much much much older home dotting the outskirts. Yes so old because I’ve had my time of excusable juvenility there like 763 years ago. But justing from all the little stuff, like the steel plates and cups, to the biggest ones, like the choices of menu, I think the place wasn’t eaten up by time at all.

Cikai’s Cheer :D

Other than all the normal wonts every campers has to cower on, like BBQ and bunk-bedding, we had our moment of wallowing a lake nearby on our self-made rafts!! And OMG the group I was happily in ended up as the first to arrive!!! :D The whole event wasn’t all about oaring. Some of the stupidest and silliest riddles were earsplitting under the sun, like,

P’buatan ape yg ade 3 name laki, 1 name p’puan, by Abu (bukan name sbnr). Yet in the end, he couldn’t recall its answer himself..TSK. I only remember one of the names was ‘abu’ *hint hint*

Desperately wanting a winning, we had used up the given oars and our limbs to advance. And we emboldened our sunniness by pepping up another stunning thing, which is, our cheer - G-A-T-A-L. (everybody, O.O) But the best thing is, we kicked off and landed with recitals of prayers to God led by Faris of Russian program :D

Another one of the many first I’ve had is, I did jungle trekking! But it was no ordinary walking through any jungly paths cause we had to climb up some sloping hill through grappling after roots of trees. And the pair of shoes I brought along weren’t gripping well. sigh. I didn’t fall but…my drinking bottle did. And along the way, our group leader ShengKai kept on collecting leeches, deeming them as pets. =.= And one of those bloodsuckers stayed on his arm through thick and thin, on land and in water. (but in the end it got killed tragically). During the trekking also, I ate a kind of mushroom I’d probably never consumed before. Edible, but no taste wan. Anyway, lemme shade u some light on how to find out whether anything weird u find will kill u anot, according to a guy I met during the trekking (so u know who to look for lest there’s any injury or death).

How to Know Whether A Food-guising Thing Will Kill You Anot, by A Guy I Met During the Trekking.

1. Scratch your skin a little until it leaves some scratch mark, not blood.
2. Then rub the thing on the mark.
3. If it hurts in any way then probably the food is not food after all.
4. If it doesn’t, OMG you’re one lucky thing :D~

Mission #2 ‘zzup:

Following the camp, we then were officiated as the Pembantu Minggu Mesra Siswa (PMMS). INTEC wooed in long lines of students and ADFP has the most of them this year, upping the number of classes this Fall (hah finally something to pride on. wahaha). I also ran across my sister’s friend cum my junior.. who never at once failed to note me on how much I mirrored my sis. /sigh.

I also shouldered the task facilitating the juniors. It actually angered me so much when I couldn’t find a perfect spot for the twenty one of us to sit and to stone and most importantly to eat because all the time the place was teeming with another chunks of students that made up the 800+ of them T____T. Anyway, I really really liked being around and opening up to members of ADFP 1 especially! :) Their incoming to Intec made me realize how a year really passed in two shakes.

Now when's our 72 hour sleep!

Mission #3:

Ok Biro Tatanegara (BTN). One effort of making us participants aware of Malaysia’s *clears throat* politics *coughs* deep down :P Still a good something I’d say caz now I know how failed I am in sejarah! ish. And again, I liked the group I was in because.. we had a leader who’s never on time, two facilitators who kept on deflecting our points of view (argh), and a lot of candy distribution during LDks. weee.

To friends who have yet to attend BTN, bring a lot of shirts (please!). White because it’s de rigueur. And more shoes so u will have a lot to spare on. I even had a frog gotten into my shoe <_< And cotton buds to prevent deafness.. Haha, kidding. Be prepared too, because this penghuluwati felt so paiseh for being so unready for an impromptu speech…

–pictures up soon–

My sneakers made me notice

Like most beings, I was out with one head and many limbs and a heart that beat. Yet unlike some beings, I was not seen with a silver spoon stumping my toothless gums.

I was never one.

I’d downed enough dosage of those witty shenanigans and reliances, like I was a helpless junkie. I wished I wasn’t the one to be enslaved. Hah.

You and you and you and you and you, I have a lot of yous on my list. Sometimes I wished I had a Death Note to scribble all ur names on!! :P Nah, the only sanest wickedness I can dream on is for you to wake up one day and look at how horrible you’re looking in the mirror!

What’s a person, and what makes you one? :|

Cuts from the same cloth

I think I do hate her.

Because she pained me even with the slightest stroke of her palm. Because she had never stopped liking the same thing i’ve ‘chop‘-ed on TV. Because she scapegoated me for a coin. Because i think she had seized all the love and praises and more love from Mum. Because everything she fantasized came to live like that Barbie doll that danced when controlled. Because all that chuted from her larynx puffed into annoyances. Because like me, she knew how to delineate silhouettes of many things on our walls. Because she hardly listened.

She must have hated me too.

Because I was a bully. Because I hit her a lot of times until her poor back was all red. Because Dad attended to my childhood wishes. Because traditionally, she was the next person in line to succeed my worn clothes. Because I had answered her itsy-bitsy Math questions with a doubled number of chiding. Because people had mistaken her as an older sibling. Because my words were delivered to chafe. Because people had been wanting her to follow in my steps. Because like her, I hardly listened.

Her result was the next great thing. But it was also a letdown. She was missing the hits of universities and scholarships she creased the minute the application results were out. It frightened us two so much. There was a sensible shake that keyed and rocked her voice every time she rang me. So we strove. We had completed appeal forms, came up with a letter (which explains why I brought her illegally into my apartment about a week before she posted something not even one centimeter-thick and not weighing as much as one kilo, by hand), prayed and hoped. The whole family were.

She waited, got into matriculation, and still waited.

The waiting was stemmed by a phone call one day finally. Her name was on the list. To be in KL the next day was almost impossible. Even made unlikelier as many more problems arose during the leave-taking process. The whole thing might have been harsh on her, and stiff enough to make her wail in front of that ‘guy with a heart’. In the end, she earned her dismissal. Dad had given his best too.

From striding past the cafés and the clinic and into the printing shop, I had accompanied her till the end minus the interview. On June 24, the news spread.

She got it =) She was really really accepted! At this hour, while I am still up on the sheet, she should already be dipping herself in bed. She’s opening another chapter in Shahputra college, while I am already leaving Intec. One heading to the US, and the other younger one to Egypt. All that in mind, I’d catch fear sometimes.

We’re parting. How can.

Nearly a decade ago, I teared while all of us kids were blindfolded during our play. Because that barred vision hindered me from seeing her. She even appeared in my dream, lifeless. I woke up crying. And then I looked for her whom was sleeping to tell her about it. When we dreamed, we acted out funnily =) I remember her say, and she still remembers mine. When we traveled, we even wore the same dresses, except that if it was a skirt, I’d wear it with pants. When we celebrated our birthdays, we would have the same cake. When we built out houses, shops, and whatnot out of LEGO pieces, we would fight over some chunks of hairs, clothes, and cubic blocks; it was a moment of sweet jejuneness filled with remixed incantation of English and Chinese and Spanish and Malay and tribal languages :P

I wouldn’t want to erase all this. For the both of us, good luck.

Lucky can I?

It’s 4 am. Duskiness is covering everything neath and above, hidden and not, except this portable computer flipped ninety-five degrees before me, and it’s flashing so brightly. I think I’m better off getting a new pair of glasses. And finding better fodder to feed readers :P

But I couldn’t. I want to rue on a few things can. ’cause this dampen atmosphere made me.

Anyone gets peeved of certain beefs, even for something as serious as not getting above 90 for Psychology paper (happened, seen, and proven). When I am in disfavor of something, disregarding its condition and look of sorts, I’ll quiesce and no one hears anything. My angriness is bordered, and few people, frustratingly however, have impetuously crossed that. I’ve been surfacing patience, so that you would see. I’ve been giving in, so that you would collect. But neither has ever happened.

Meletihkan tau dok.

And I even locked up my locker that contains my student ID, a camera, and clothes. And keys. It’s fine to have the house key locked inside but the locker keys?!!! Can’t upload the pics from yesterday’s graduation ceremony lor T_____T But it wasn’t really a graduation, ’cause I’m left with two more papers to go. And more medicament to down.

but the peppermint liquid tastes nice, really : )

And there was no inkling of what’s next.

I was so mad! So mad I could have called off everything. It should have been scrubbed off in the first place, ’cause no one was pulling in. It was only a cry for an absence of anticipation, a holler to fuel the flames with fussiness. What disappointment! If you couldn’t finish your share, then that’s that.

You foiled me, and then you placed me at a loss for words. I had never imagined we could pool in such number of souls since it was a sudden shocking shotgun reunification. So thank you, everyone! : D

Sek Keb Sek 6 Class of 2001 Reunion @ Plaza Alam Sentral, June 13 ‘08 : )

A Distant You

Tikah thinks of a cute gift for you, she just wouldn’t tell what. If, by any hit of an instant luck, she were rained over with simoleons, Humaira figures that she’d buy you a 3-carat diamond plus a t-shirt (cun wan) plus heels plus a handbag. I can only afford you a cheesecake.. only a slice of that, ’cause the price of petrol just skyrocketed!! So faster come here!

Ifhan’s imaginary birthday celebration :)

Reuniting exes of sks6!

It has been more than six damned years since we graduated! Who would have thought we’re still able to tell which of us is the ever so maddening Hazwan, that boy who was called up on stage before all the Standard 6-ers bunching the hall. Asked of his direction after graduation, he answered ‘asrama’ when we all knew the answer was only between the two existing day schools in Shah Alam that time -__- But he really got into a boarding school, somemore somewhere in my kampung!! Damn lucky you :( ; Amir Fathudeen, the only adorably petite boy in class I’ll surely I remember him wan. HAHAHA. Brought my pen back home and then threw it to my face only when I asked about it. And he has brain, cause he aced in anything Math. But not to my expectation, he’s grown twice his old size; I could only recall there was this one boy who kicked my shoes to every cement bit that made up the third floor and put me into not-so-great depression, and that was Syamim. Damn bad you but never mind lah at least in my mind you were still a nice and courteous librarian especially with that pink uniform you’re in :) ; And Umar Farouk, I dont know you ok, even if we’re deskmates in std 4, classmates 6 years back, coursemates in college and I saw you on TV!! ; I knew her much much much much longer than anyone mentioned. And how can I ebar forget the ice cream conflict we had back then :) that, plus the ‘trespassing’ plus the sighing at the loss of bus from sight plus all the gifts of all sorts for birthdays ( i especially love amber from ifhan and her!) plus the siyesly self-generated sarcasm plus what else I miss out must have explained why we’re still bonded to this day, Atikah! :) ; And although our DNA did not match to fit the three of us in the family history, Nurul Izzah and Nur Afzalika are always so close to me, just as close as our houses were to each other!

In the pic from left, clockwise: Umar, Izzah, Atikah, Insyirah, Afzalika, Amir, Syamim. Not in the pic, Hazwan cause he took this!

Smiling at the suddenness of this little gathering dated June 4, 08, although there was a short blackout earlier.

P.s. Std 6 batch of 2001, planned reunion in a week’s time :)

What you need best

When you reached that point of no escape, you wouldn’t inch. You were unmoved by senseless, non-compelling words. And that pouch sizing a knuckle chose to decide that you remain dead thumbtacked to what’s beneath. Still I saw you reconcile no matter what. Why such pretence. You’re still feigning that dead look when your inside was running crazily and all. Even when the stream pumped and oozed insanely like hell you’re still maintaining that selfishness, baka-ness inside, whyth. But I never at once looked down on you, because I knew you second best. Up to this point, I’ve reckoned your stupidity and your helplessness and your idiocy and your fuss in your tak jadi façade. Anyway, have you realized this, those that layered its interior have patterned into an ugly yarn ball?

If only a name’s neumenon has its say…

I wonder how it’s like hoisting a 2.7 kilo tyke in the inside, as in having buns in the ovens. How it’s like feeling an inner pressure dragooned by some gentle mechanics. And then the melon-shaped contour was all of a sudden pressed to thin. Another wonder to the world after one great on-and-off effort. What magic has God brought! :)

Mum and Dad prized me Insyirah. A three-syllable and still so short. My dislike of it was myopic. For real, I hated it because when paired with titles it’d become Ms. Insyirah, Mrs. Insyirah, Mdm. Insyirah, Puan Insyirah, and the sorts were not at all appealing to the ears. To my ears. Ugly la! And so I thought for quite sometime. Aihh.

The three-syllable hitched with me through elementary and yeah, we lasted together but not for long. And I still have this in mind, “A short name is handy when it comes to writing your name on your examination paper.” At some point, I agreed. It saved time in most cases ‘cause when I wrote, I did that with a speed of a filled tortoise which recently had two of its legs injured. Lame but almost true :P because I cared so much ‘bout being neat and nifty and “I can do better than you” and whatever. But in the end I didn’t get through PTS. Keke.

In the afternoon school, someone nicknamed me a word no one ever entitled me with. This guy was unfathomable. I never got him right. He caused me brainsick with his conduct. What evil could have gotten into you ah! At one point, I was beaten, lightly fortunately ‘cause I wore trousers that day, by a teacher. All in the name of, to his eyes I bet, justice. He led the class disciplinary role. One fine day, he was on call, to collar those who, of any sort, might have dilated his pupils. So yeap, I was caught raising my voice slightly high during that time. What made it worst was, I was his CO-ASSISTANT and supposedly, I was on duty too. So, this ‘Outsyirah’ was then put to be caned in front, along with other lucky ones on his list :(

Time pushed us into secondary school.

Hmm. I was still Insyirah in others’ mind. Syirah for short. I wasn’t bothered by that :) But one thing triggered my long lost ire!! History repeated, banally as it rolled with time. Why it was him again. That time around, knowing my email, he dubbed me ‘Hershey’s’. So I was a walking chocolate brand then.

I’ve grown to be both Insyirah and Shishi in college. Shishi’s history was simple, as it was deadpanned after Shasha, by one of my favorite lecturers :D “Shishi is easier, only two syllables, Insyirah got three,” a soul admitted. Shishi wiped Insyirah off the floor by only one syllable! -___-

But what could have been more enticing, are the meanings these two carry =) I no longer believe this gift is awfully ugly. I erred big time. It has long encumbered within me, regardless of how much negligence and detestation I descended upon it. Through my almost-19 years of functioning, I have been Insyirah and Syirah and Outsyirah and Hershey’s and Insyi and Inci and Shishi and Cici and Ci. People may say, what’s in a name. To the ‘now’ me, a name is a name-cum-what you are. Really really :)