I IS A PHAILURE.

Something noobish and phailing is at its making. I never hooked three phailures before. In a row somemore (pic)  T_T. bb. /phail

even ZGMF-X09A cries with me. it’s a shame, ikr T____T.

p/s: i know this is berjanggut already, but folks im home C:

A new bud out

I am officially dethroned. After all that notes I kept to just be words pressing another words. After all the minutes and fats I burned down the Quarter Mile (which in fact, isn’t really just a quarter mile) . After all the discontentment I sauced the breakfast with when the croissant, *glass falling*, got a new topping to go with it *glass breaks*. After all the love I gave  for kanji strokes and pronunciation. After thrrrrrrrrrrree quarters.

@#$^&*@$##$%.

Summer is finally here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lilacs’ beauty (:

No Reason to Live Without You.

truly, i believed that to many, i was really a dying string of hair among the rest. it didnt matter whatever happened to this one strand. i grew and i died and that’s that.

it was only when the body needed some form of protection for the scalp, i existed. but my appearance was never long. next thing i knew, i was already lying on the cold covering.

i played my part without hesitation, gave out many yeses along the way. rain or shine, i rooted myself in firmly. yet in the end, however tough i was trying to be, i either died being plucked, or died from getting old and sick.

\\\\

of all the many encounters u have had in life, u probably wouldnt remember who i was, and maybe what i was.

my head is now a walking time bomb……

i am 101% sure that i am now a shellfish build. i am 101% unsure whether i was the same last ten to twelve years. what i can forage of my past are only a select few things. things i have been blogging about to this day, i can always look up on them and feel good. minus some. recent ones were so filled with things i didnt even feel happy to blog about. it was all emotional stuff crammed together (even this one), more than ready to be dumped onto something. or somebody. anybody.

i still dont get it, what friends slash acquaintances slash companions are.

simply put, i dont even know where to begin sorting them out. the more i think about it, the more i become foreign of my being. i hate it i just cant say no. but who would have cared.

selfishly put, i think i am better off solo.

perhaps only then, i dont have to care so much bout anything but myself.

if i am still insyirah to u, thank you =) if i have reached out for u, consider that a hint =) thank you thank you thank you for being so thoughtful people =) happiness does not come solely from what’s around, i believe =)

Killing off some brain cells.

大家好！我要告诉你们我的秘密。哈哈。但是我没有秘密了。我一边做功课，一边听韩国音乐。我觉得 ‘다비치‘ 的 ‘8282′ 很有意思♪。他们唱歌唱得很好！我觉得那乐的MV不错了。有一个男孩子，他有Superpowers~很奇怪，对不对？！Aiyer…他想他的老师太多了（schizophrenia？）twas sad nonetheless…(´∩｀。)

我的中文课有一个女学生。是我。T—T…可是我很高兴因每天为老师给我们咖啡和茶 (￣ー￣)V

poorly narrated as expected. grammatical and vocabulary errors, all are everywhere :P im all zhongwen-ized now, shall get back to this when i want to 〜〜〜ﾍ(;ﾟ∇ﾟ)ﾉ (maybe i should put this in my workbook~)

and to end, climax!

i have moved out of the res hall.

February’s Quickie

Imma tag ….. whoever. Be sure to have your anything. Be sure to have this down (:

Yay let’s roll.

Imma start with the 25 things about meh. whatever that means.

25. I hate hehe. hehehe. hehehehe. yes sorry! hehe. did i just whaa? my last, ever. hehe. (this is personal, it doesn’t concern anybody, really =D)

24. I sleep wherever, whenever. 73% of my sleeping were on teh floor. another 15% on the desk. 12% on the chair, yes, my head apparently was NOT on the desk, in my room or in the lecture hall. And I consider this, talent. wahahahah. And surely, the other 2% up on my bed.

23. I don’t like the bed, it’s way up in the clouds :^(

22. No 23 explains why I jumped off the decker abruptly after my eyelids flashed open.

21. I like my desk, just below the bed (: there’s the lamp here, all my sticky notes, all the bottles I’ve gathered together (like 10 per day, doubled per week, fortunately dwindled after…. a month? *YOU RECORD THIS DOWN*). Anddddddd I still have the box of nasik, oishii ~(´∇`). In case u ever wondered, u can come to my room, we’ll play treasure hunt. nyahahaha.

20. I favor Lipton’s Pureleaf Iced Tea. Yes I surely got it right, it’s beside me! el o el.

19. I have no money dot

18. I sometimes do people watching!!!!! (I try to make it sound less stalking-ish) No komen (≧∇≦)o

17. The kind of people that fries my brain cells, forgetful and disrespectful (my old post spans the details). I can counter that, I am not forgiving. Yes, I am that bad. (PLZ JOT THIS D()WN)

16. Procrastination reigns.

15. Have u ever skipped your bath? Need I mention sustainability concern?! you’ll contribute a lot when u save water blek. we went over and over over this topic in class, no lie (:

14. My eyes must have been infected. Either one will eerily turn red everyday X_o

13. Instrumental pieces are always the best~~! No emo. ok. sometimes. (IS THIS IN YOUR NOTE?)

12. I can count my friends with my hair! HAHAHA. now that’s sarcasm. In case u are missing the point, I am not bald. But that’s not the main point.

11. Only one more paper to wrap up my quarter. woohoo. One reason to not stay happy. *fast forwards time till the next four hours*. HAPPY.

10. Cute but ignorant babies should _______________. I saved a baby once, I think.

9. I can’t say no. Right, no.

8. Have I quitted gaming? Hmmmm.

7. I actually don’t like your reading this. (YOUR FACE NAO, LEMME SEE)

6. Jealousy was in my dictionary!~ hahahah. but ‘t was long torn out (:

5. I’d like to apologize to everyone for slacking. I haven’t quitted befriending my tablet (: *puts on a serious face* “Everyone, please wait!”

4. I have a bad mouth. I am trying to disown it for good. The bad part only, not my mouth (:

3. The package of Maggi my parents sent was destroyed. My feeling is exactly portrayed here (WATCH THE LAST GUY).

2. 我要回家。

1. My Math is questionable. See #24. But maybe, I do sleep that much. Hmmmmmmm.

Wait, there’s another 20 more to go.  But this is for anyone reading, the pleasure is on u~!

Will this help?

明天我有 Biology mid-term exam. 所以现在我想去看书。可是我不要看书因为我想去睡觉了。哈哈。还有现在我很忙，我有一百个homework. 太多了。请帮我 T_T…

那一月二十二日， 我来了！ 夏艺珊加油！

Translation:

I will have a Biology mid-term exam tomorrow. That’s why right now I am going to read books. But I do not want to because I feel like going to sleep. Haha. And I am also busy, I have 100 homework. Too much. Please help me T_T…

January 22, here I come! Xia Yi Shan add oil (refuel)!

I am forgetting most of the characters, they just won’t stick in my head. I really really really really really hope that this will be of help. Mistakes, probably all over :^(

My dictionary says,

Friend:

1. A person you know well and regard with affection and trust.

2. An associate who provides cooperation or assistance.

3. A person with whom you are acquainted.

4. A person who backs a politician or a team etc.

Now compare that with these:

1. An animal or plant that lives in or on a host (another animal or plant); it obtains nourishment from the host without benefiting or killing the host.

2. A follower who hangs around a host (without benefit to the host) in hope of gain or advantage.

No. 4 of ‘Friend’ is not relevant to my post, I think. Yeap, no. 1 of the latter part too, *tettt – a long buzzer sound*. Now how should I crown the term ‘friend’ on anyone? We’d easily blurt that ‘Weeee are friends!’, ‘besties forever and ever and ever’  out anytime we like, anyhow we want. Then there’s the backstabbing friends some have had. OMGEE. And toooooo forgetful friends? (note: to the extent that they cannot remember who their friends are). And it amazes when people actually wrote stuff like “People who must not meet me in life: backstabbers” on like, anything (note: i was one, yeay). Truth hurts and the truth is, noone ever wants to befriend (even meet!) backstabbers, so why write. we’re all no different on this matter :)

Iunno if I ever had any friends since my first cry but the point is -  I have had quite a number of people whose paths are intertwined with mine in life. Like zkfhdosi and skjhfkjfhks and you and yes that girl during pre-school whose piece of cheesedale I ate up to dissolve into thin air (note: and she screamed, yeay).

How do you make someone a friend? Is it as easy as saying ey-bee-see, or  just by knowing ok where his/her mole is at? Or maybe, since you got together for like 5 days and 24 hours, why not be cute friends. Or or, just by simply hovering the scroll over- and clicking “Add as Friend”?

I’m not sure either. There is no such thing as a ‘Who is Meant to Be My Friend’ test, an IRL one. definitely not something like ‘which (insert title here) character are u?’ stuff.

Maybe it is now time to be picky ’bout this. Maybe I should generate a list of people I encountered in life and start crossing out.

(last note: The second part of the word meaning above comes from something else, not a friend)

(:

The last post.

I’ve just come across the cutest thing on Earth on my way to the laundry room.

So tell me, do rabbits make holes out of snow piles?

Why, u ask me back.

Because I saw all the footmarks leading toward a hugeeee pile of snow and on it were two holes, in and out.

But then again, was that really a rabbit?

B-bb-because,

insyirah: nak skrg ke
insyirah: tu kucing mane pulak stretching tu
nur rafidah: de tak kucing bertelinga pjg?
nur rafidah: mkn keret?
nur rafidah: anda rase?
insyirah: tak
nur rafidah: maknenye tu bkn lah haiwan yg dinyatakan
insyirah: ….
insyirah: br phm
insyirah: tu arnab ye
insyirah: HAHHAHAHAHA
nur rafidah: hahahha

And yeay there goes my last post. of the year. maybe :)

Gotta split, for Texas tomorrow :D

Define You, Define Me.

Define You.

You, like a clay, like a silk. Just as mild, you create this beautiful feeling everyone points at. The light dims on others but you. You are that 3-carat diamond that tops the display, you know how to please. I am not exaggerating. You are a little too much, you are nearing nonesuch. They bathed you with Alpine pure water, fed you liquefied gold and covered you with glass no bullet could pierce. Because sunlight hurts you much and fluoridated eych-too-ow burns your skin. omg what sensitivity we are lacking.

You, like you, are gentle. You are immune to the fragile X mutation (mwahaha), to being failed, to the sun, the beach, and anything but.. you. Why is that, you? But you are not all that bad. Woah what made me say that. Sometimes though, you are quite a pressure, with holes all over. Maybe you should ponder a bit, whether you should cover them holes back or leave them be :)

You, this is not the first note. Should it be a congratulation, or its evil twin consolation, I haven’t the least. Well maybe, I could give you a thank you note the next time, just in case, you need something comfy to feather your nice being.

Define Me.

I, am not you. And I own a big black bottle where I kept everything from everyone. And I filled it with a black note, its words stretched the size of Bach’s Toccata and Fugue piece. I are a rebel.

Backward.

0207