Yeah! I have been wanting to put my hands to good use and tadaa :) I cooked my favorite dish today :D I think it took me around 2 freaking long hours to finish T_T Lucky I have a gourmet with me to taste it – my sis. So I present you, padprik~! And it really lacks many ingredients you see. No tomatoes, no oyster sauce, no many things but must have chikins o.o; But yup smells good (ha ha). Can’t wait to break fast with this XDD. Hope mum and sis will like it  :)

All of a sudden I miss everything. This kind of flashing is bad =( I miss my home, that five-story one, but mine was on the third floor lol. I miss my room, the room we all shared, three of us. I miss the walls, ones dabbed with deformed but cute human figures =( I miss the double-decker bed we rocked every day and night. I miss the Garfield mirror, broken but still a mirror. And the lego blocks. Mannn I miss all the roofless houses we built. Also miss exchanging the hair and body parts of the lego people. I miss the dolls, Mattel’s ones. You know what – Barbie. My sis loved them but we played together =( Even dyed the hair with watercolors which eventually made the dolls look ‘priceless’, silly but.. memorable =( I miss the noisy  and problematic neighbors, the quarrels we had like hair just shampooed but dirtied because of rumah atas. Hahaha it was tense when it happened but funny when remembered. I miss the Nyonya who lived below. She was the nicest neighbor there, I think. She always gave us angpao and oranges during CNY =(  I also miss the twins who lived opposite Nyonya, so cute =( I miss the nasi lemak sold near my house. I miss being canned caned (omg my vocab sakdsjhjk)! I also miss the hydroponic sawi and mini cactuses. I miss playing with my sisters and neighbors every evening, collecting ladybugs and finding ‘treasures’ beneath dead leaves. I even remember how the playground looked like. Also the times we walked up to another side of the apartment only to buy ice pops and mamee and many other junk food =( I miss going to kindergarten. I miss leaving my class only to get into my younger sis’s class and learn how to color with her. I miss having chocolates like Ding Dang and Tora =( I miss the freebies really. I miss sleeping and eating in rows! I miss school, primary school. Feels like going back to standard 1 =( I remember Pn Kalthum and Mrs Lee. I miss my beautiful handwriting. Sigh. I miss Atikah, Adlyn, Nurrifhan, Humaira, Mariam, Afiq, Umar, Hazwan, Fatini and F =( I miss the small fights between us -_- I miss taking part in the competitions, although most winnings were on behalf of my dad. I miss being tricked by little friend, collected money then duno money went where. I miss being all lively in class and in the end having my ear pulled because didn’t manage to complete the notes. I miss my pencil box, the one with a mini hockey game inside. I miss singing while penciling. I miss getting on the small stage =( I miss the childish performances every year. I miss frequenting the bookshop for stuff I didn’t really need so much =( I miss dragging the easy bag to school. And surely I miss going late to school =( I miss the assemblies. I miss the school song. I miss shouting the pledge with one hand going up. I miss following the duty roster. I miss hating the prefects. I miss playing the tiang game lol. I miss PE class. Also sports day. I miss Rumah Hijau! =( I remember having free Vico drinks for the day. I miss kelas 6 Anggerik Berlian so much =( I miss playing snap and UNO during year ends. I miss ketuk ketampi. I miss hogging the Game Boy console until my vision became blurry one day till now =( I miss going back to kampung. Especially Raya. Only then I could play firecrackers as many as there was. I miss visiting whosits’ houses only to make a mountain of RM1. I miss playing Tamiya with cousins!! I miss the track my dad built for us (even random guys used it). I miss the SNES, playing Kontra and Mario and staying up as we liked. I miss the dial up 1515 too.. wth =( I remember having my first email address during standard 6. I miss UPSR lol. PTS, I don’t want to miss because tak lepas. woah wall of text. tldr? I miss us kids =(

I’ve found the legendary cheat book we sisters used in the past :) Good memories :/ Inside listed long lines of codes. You know lah last time mana ada internut sangat.

GTA: Vice City, anyone? :)

I wonder who did this. And what does it mean?

I fear lurking into hospitals. Let alone having my blood drained, feels as though half my body is sucked out to fit the syringe. That’s one thing. And only that, I hope.

This morning, they have my blood checked again. Also, another x-ray session. The machine is cool, makes a 360 degree turn  around the head, samore has background music also. hahah.

And while waiting for the anesthetist, I sat beside a smiling popo who’s accompanying his hubby. Then while I was inside, the popo was fainting. So the helper asked the couple who’s actually sick, her husband or the popo.. Sadded. Shes really nice u see, always smiling then also helped get the brochure for her husband. Very faithful! Even in a sickly condition still spare her time :) Happyed.

To Terengganu tonight! Cousin going to wed XDD

Edit #1 (Oct 4 ‘09)

Had roti canai at mamak place, with wrestling show playing on tv. Then brought up a not so hot issue about the whole acting stuff -_- Suddenly just nearby I could see a guy on bike being pursued by the police then was hit by a stick I suppose. Later could see he carry the bike away. scary live action .__. luckily the roti only had little hangus.

Done with packing! 99.9% being warded (another 0.1% goes to whatever gonna happen before getting warded). gona be warded till… iunno ;__; I should have gone to the room immediately after registering butttttttt i wasnt ready, cashier said if not, the police will masuk campur =.=”

Operation said to be tomorrow so yea.. Prays harder. Wish me luck kayy, thank u slmt hari raya maaf zahir dan batin =)

Cuak cuak.

Edit #2 (Oct 13 ‘09)

Yosh! Alhamdulillah :) I was discharged finally by Thursday, after what seemed like infinite hours of getting myself to sleep.

Nights I spent in wards were rough. I started off having milk and a piece of bread in the evening, rejecting the hospital food for the night cause parents bringing nasi paprik and iced milo to dine with. And  my stomach was screaming nightlong. Good tummy gone good after a few rounds of 100plus! Then was given a little yellow pill (high chance being a sleeping pill). Having placed in a 2nd-, 3rd-, maybe 4th-class ward wasnt all bad ‘cept I was seeing wild stares floating around. It’s just scary.

Then puasa. Then the sun came out.

That morning, had the wiry thing connected to me. And I could see a few med students practicing housemanship. Only little would come to my bed cause I was under dental case. Unpopular ish ish. Then at about 10am, nurses placed me on the stretcher.

I stared at the light and I knew nothing else then.

I think the whole thing took approx. four hours. Haha. The only thing I can remember of is seeing my dad, mum and my sis outside the operating theater. And I knew my mouth was in a mess, but never wanted to look at it until I felt I need to.

The remaining days in another more private room were painful and unmoving. They were days of spitting blood and saliva the whole time with less sleeping, less walking. My lips were swelling and not closing. I became a real pain in the butt for my family. I broke their sleep only to murmur something they couldn’t decipher, only to ask for tissues and plastics bags. People came and went off, many asking if I was involved in any accident. oo the look on my face.

Any failure to sleep means seeing the nurses and janitors do their job every single time. It’s like filling a night shift with them :) Sometimes I would eye the bottle content too, worrying if it would ever get emptied and not replaced. Nurses usually came in, looked up and down and said ‘panjang berjela-jela tali ni’. The wire really.

I learned a few things after the first meeting with the doctors since the operation. Like, I actually have a few stitches in my gum (HOW DID THEY DO THAT!!!), which I deemed blood. Also, none of my teeth was pulled out. yeay. Andddd that I could finally go back on Thursday.

For now, I am eating soft diet (mostly porridge and nesvita). And as usual, antibiotic (now waiting for my last dosage. i hope) :). Once, I forgot to bring the med while we’re visiting relatives and it’s about time  for a dose. Very critical I felt like the bacteria was going to multiply already. So we went  out to town to find the pharmacies had none. Then while stopping at the bank, we saw an old man looking all lonely in the rain so dad handed him some money :)  Yknow, he held up his palms and prayed and then sought shelter :) Thank God we finally found a clinic selling that ‘rare’ ubat! Then we only knew that we had used the wrong name – should be the cefuroxime axetil, not xylid (the only thing I remembered, sadly).

I guess that’s all I have as of now :) Till then, thank you everyone though I know I can’t thank enough. I have asked too many and have done too little in return. Wassalam :)

Edit #3 (Oct 17 ‘09) (I know long story.. :P, bear with me if itsokay :))

Yesterday I went to the hospital for a review. A different doctor, not the usual chubby one XD. But she was nothing more nothing less, all good and professional. I can now converse properly btw, syukran Allah :D! She said, my mouth was clean ;__; (possibly because the doctor was hygienic, or was it me being so cautious about bacterial infection?!! hahaa! :b). She sapu a bit mouthwash material near the removed part, got abit blood on like 2-4 pieces of gauze. And then she mentioned about the follow-up meeting next week – to remove the threads and also to replace the gauze in my mouth. I don’t know where the gauze really is now, maybe that’s the cause of this little bump I am still feeling, o well :)

I can’t wait, wonder if it will hurt. An update so short, fin. Tak sabar daftar kelas musim sejuk!

Edit #4 (Oct 25 ‘09)

Before I move on, a special thank you note to seniors and batchmates for their time and effort while helping me register for classes ^^v.

Two days ago I proceeded with what the hospital had in plan. First off, the doctor pulled all of the sutures stuck between my teeth. (yeay). All looking good.

Then the specialist’s turn. And everyone’s turn actually ’cause the nurses, doctors all surrounded me with blades and knives. (lolwut). And with me a tissue and an eye protector to fend against any incoming attacks.

So the specialist began to order around – light here and there, the suction tube also. I can only remember what I saw. He  started pulling the gauze out bit by bit. B-b-but I wasn’t seeing what I had expected to see. What came out from my mouth wasn’t any tiny swab but a loooooooooooong one. It didn’t appear gauzy anymore, only blooded, the whole piece was. I could only stand seeing red and feeling unafraid after maybe the 4- or 5th pull. After that,  I bricked up my view. I only heard the sound of blood after each pull. err..how to explain this, the ’squish squish’ one. sorry my vocab fails.

Long story short, painful part ended, they soon inserted a new gauze.

Local anesthesia to come after, my gum was injected a bit. A little pain going on thenceforth :’( He added another stitching inside. (inserts aeonian crying facemark here). Good thing, I saw how he sew. Finally for the day, I had to clench a tiny gauze (the one I’d been imagining) till I reached home. I scrutinized the report, it’s odontogenic cyst. Sized 40/12.3mm if my eyes were seeing right.

And at home, it’s blood spitting day again. and more bubur. with ground chicken. still no egg.

Edit #5 (Nov 1 ‘09)

*copies and pastes last edit* yes thought it was another review – all the talking – last friday but no, changed the gauze again. braver last time, however. now can eat most food finally :)

and this came so early that evening! khtard much :P

I couldn’t sleep yesterday.

Set laptop’s alarm to 2:00am. then to 2:30am. then to 3:00am.

I think I’ll be thinner soon enough. Cause I donated lots of blood overnight. T___T

Then along the way to sticking my eyelids together, someone BUZZED me. yknow who u are, Jjoh (not her real name).

Also, somebody went into the room only to use my laptop then left the light on.

（─┬─________________＿ ─┬─）

I guess the good exists for the bad, and the bad exists for the good.

Mosquitoes exist to tell me that somebody has forgotten to clean water container. At least that’s what the TV has been saying since the last twenty years. But that’s aedes. But nvm, they’re families.

And I exist to be the blood donor. Minimal, but still donating.

So yea.. I be the good. The mosquitoes be the bad.

Can’t wait for tonight! XDDDDDDD

To everyone born on the thirteenth,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HPY BDAY TO U AND ME

HPY BDAY TO U XDXD

Thank yous to all my prens who have sent in wishes =D

I know one two three four five six persons who share the same birthday with me! Happy birthday to the late pakcik Roald Dahl oso =)

And this year, birthday falls in Ramadan again, but last time on the first day of Ramadan *full of myself*

Something noobish and phailing is at its making. I never hooked three phailures before. In a row somemore (pic)  T_T. bb. /phail

even ZGMF-X09A cries with me. it’s a shame, ikr T____T.

p/s: i know this is berjanggut already, but folks im home C:

I am officially dethroned. After all that notes I kept to just be words pressing another words. After all the minutes and fats I burned down the Quarter Mile (which in fact, isn’t really just a quarter mile) . After all the discontentment I sauced the breakfast with when the croissant, *glass falling*, got a new topping to go with it *glass breaks*. After all the love I gave  for kanji strokes and pronunciation. After thrrrrrrrrrrree quarters.

@#$^&*@$##$%.

Summer is finally here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lilacs’ beauty (:

truly, i believed that to many, i was really a dying string of hair among the rest. it didnt matter whatever happened to this one strand. i grew and i died and that’s that.

it was only when the body needed some form of protection for the scalp, i existed. but my appearance was never long. next thing i knew, i was already lying on the cold covering.

i played my part without hesitation, gave out many yeses along the way. rain or shine, i rooted myself in firmly. yet in the end, however tough i was trying to be, i either died being plucked, or died from getting old and sick.

\\\\

of all the many encounters u have had in life, u probably wouldnt remember who i was, and maybe what i was.

my head is now a walking time bomb……

i am 101% sure that i am now a shellfish build. i am 101% unsure whether i was the same last ten to twelve years. what i can forage of my past are only a select few things. things i have been blogging about to this day, i can always look up on them and feel good. minus some. recent ones were so filled with things i didnt even feel happy to blog about. it was all emotional stuff crammed together (even this one), more than ready to be dumped onto something. or somebody. anybody.

i still dont get it, what friends slash acquaintances slash companions are.

simply put, i dont even know where to begin sorting them out. the more i think about it, the more i become foreign of my being. i hate it i just cant say no. but who would have cared.

selfishly put, i think i am better off solo.

perhaps only then, i dont have to care so much bout anything but myself.

if i am still insyirah to u, thank you =) if i have reached out for u, consider that a hint =) thank you thank you thank you for being so thoughtful people =) happiness does not come solely from what’s around, i believe =)

大家好！我要告诉你们我的秘密。哈哈。但是我没有秘密了。我一边做功课，一边听韩国音乐。我觉得 ‘다비치‘ 的 ‘8282′ 很有意思♪。他们唱歌唱得很好！我觉得那乐的MV不错了。有一个男孩子，他有Superpowers~很奇怪，对不对？！Aiyer…他想他的老师太多了（schizophrenia？）twas sad nonetheless…(´∩｀。)

我的中文课有一个女学生。是我。T—T…可是我很高兴因每天为老师给我们咖啡和茶 (￣ー￣)V

poorly narrated as expected. grammatical and vocabulary errors, all are everywhere :P im all zhongwen-ized now, shall get back to this when i want to 〜〜〜ﾍ(;ﾟ∇ﾟ)ﾉ (maybe i should put this in my workbook~)

and to end, climax!

i have moved out of the res hall.

upper climax!

Imma tag ….. whoever. Be sure to have your anything. Be sure to have this down (:

Yay let’s roll.

Imma start with the 25 things about meh. whatever that means.

25. I hate hehe. hehehe. hehehehe. yes sorry! hehe. did i just whaa? my last, ever. hehe. (this is personal, it doesn’t concern anybody, really =D)

24. I sleep wherever, whenever. 73% of my sleeping were on teh floor. another 15% on the desk. 12% on the chair, yes, my head apparently was NOT on the desk, in my room or in the lecture hall. And I consider this, talent. wahahahah. And surely, the other 2% up on my bed.

23. I don’t like the bed, it’s way up in the clouds :^(

22. No 23 explains why I jumped off the decker abruptly after my eyelids flashed open.

21. I like my desk, just below the bed (: there’s the lamp here, all my sticky notes, all the bottles I’ve gathered together (like 10 per day, doubled per week, fortunately dwindled after…. a month? *YOU RECORD THIS DOWN*). Anddddddd I still have the box of nasik, oishii ~(´∇`). In case u ever wondered, u can come to my room, we’ll play treasure hunt. nyahahaha.

20. I favor Lipton’s Pureleaf Iced Tea. Yes I surely got it right, it’s beside me! el o el.

19. I have no money dot

18. I sometimes do people watching!!!!! (I try to make it sound less stalking-ish) No komen (≧∇≦)o

17. The kind of people that fries my brain cells, forgetful and disrespectful (my old post spans the details). I can counter that, I am not forgiving. Yes, I am that bad. (PLZ JOT THIS D()WN)

16. Procrastination reigns.

15. Have u ever skipped your bath? Need I mention sustainability concern?! you’ll contribute a lot when u save water blek. we went over and over over this topic in class, no lie (:

14. My eyes must have been infected. Either one will eerily turn red everyday X_o

13. Instrumental pieces are always the best~~! No emo. ok. sometimes. (IS THIS IN YOUR NOTE?)

12. I can count my friends with my hair! HAHAHA. now that’s sarcasm. In case u are missing the point, I am not bald. But that’s not the main point.

11. Only one more paper to wrap up my quarter. woohoo. One reason to not stay happy. *fast forwards time till the next four hours*. HAPPY.

10. Cute but ignorant babies should _______________. I saved a baby once, I think.

9. I can’t say no. Right, no.

8. Have I quitted gaming? Hmmmm.

7. I actually don’t like your reading this. (YOUR FACE NAO, LEMME SEE)

6. Jealousy was in my dictionary!~ hahahah. but ‘t was long torn out (:

5. I’d like to apologize to everyone for slacking. I haven’t quitted befriending my tablet (: *puts on a serious face* “Everyone, please wait!”

4. I have a bad mouth. I am trying to disown it for good. The bad part only, not my mouth (:

3. The package of Maggi my parents sent was destroyed. My feeling is exactly portrayed here (WATCH THE LAST GUY).

2. 我要回家。

1. My Math is questionable. See #24. But maybe, I do sleep that much. Hmmmmmmm.

Wait, there’s another 20 more to go.  But this is for anyone reading, the pleasure is on u~!

Now imagine.

TOMORROW is your last. Expect giving out the last breath and not seeing your parents, family, friends, foes, even u yourself.

What are the 10 Things you’re going to do TODAY? (: Easy?

10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

You did it (:

Okay here comes the next great thing.

The situation turns over. You won’t die TOMORROW. You will still be able to meet all the signifcant others again (:

What 10 Things will you do TODAY? (: I wonder if they will be the same :)

pwned me much.